How to lose your family’s screen addiction in 10 days

Parenting

Aug 9

“How do I get my kids to cut back on their screen time?” is a question we get a lot. If you’re worried because your family is sitting around the living room with five different screens all going on at the same time (TVs, tablets, phones, etc.), then don’t worry, we have a day-by-day guide for you to help your family get off those screens.

Day 1. Understand & talk about why screen time needs limits 🤔

Before setting limits, understand the effect of screen time on children. Research has shown that excessive screen use leads to poor sleeping habits, decreased physical activity, increased stress, anxiety, and more.

Especially when it comes to social media, the impact on our kids is vast and damaging. Teens who spend more than 3 hours on social media DOUBLE the risk of anxiety and depression. To be clear, the average daily use in this age group, as of the summer of 2023, was 4.8 hours. This is why our US Surgeon General, Dr. Murthy has issued a call for a warning label on social media.

Have an open dialogue with your family about how they feel about screen time, sharing some of this evidence so that everyone understands why this conversation and setting limits is important.

Day 2. Research and assess 🔍

Take a day to just observe, investigate, and track how your family uses their devices. Take notes on what content, media, and activities someone engages with, and how each of those makes them feel, and what they might be getting out of it. Make sure you do this for yourself, too!

For example, Alex likes to watch videos on YouTube. This might make them feel amused or happy for most of the time, when they’re watching funny videos or cute puppies, but are there channels out there that leave Alex feeling sad? Anxious? Even angry?

Then, discuss your findings at dinnertime. It can be pretty eye-opening to realize how much of our screen time activities affect our overall emotions and wellbeing.

Day 3. Review your own screen time 📱

Next, get into the numbers. Open up your smartphone and tablets and review how much time you spend on them every single day. Many phones track this for you and let you see how much time you spend not just on your phone, but on which apps.

According to a 2022 study, most Americans pick up their phones 352 times a day and spend about 3.5 hours a day on their phone.

Then, talk about it again at dinnertime. Compare each other’s stats and share your insights. Who picked up their phone the least? What was everyone’s most used app? How does that make everyone feel?

Day 4. Collaborate on family screen time goals 🥅

Setting screen time limits can be a collaborative effort in the family, and helps kids understand and take ownership of their screen use, so make sure to involve them in the process.

As a guideline, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends <2 hrs a day for adults and teens and <1 hour for younger kids, but it’s also important to consider the quality of the engagement and interactions that your family gets on their screens.

Making sure that Alex only uses their phone for 2 hours is important, but it’s just as important to support and encourage Alex in making sure that time is spent on activities that enrich them in some way, instead of doom scrolling on social media.

Day 5. Go for a daily device-free walk 🚶‍♀️

Make a new family tradition to go on a pre/post-dinner walk with your kids everyday, and have everyone leave their phone behind. You can use this time to connect with your kids even more; catch up with them on how their days went, ask them what they’re looking forward to tomorrow, or talk about how they’re feeling that day.

Or, pick any other easy, non-screen activity to do every day like playing catch, reading, coloring, building legos, or whatever suits your family’s interests best. Keeping everyone engaged with non-screen activities can fill in the time they might otherwise spend being bored and looking at screens!

Day 6. Designate screen-free zones and times 🙅

Make another collaborative effort with your family to decide which parts of the house should be device-free. Bedrooms and the dinner table are great, and even ideal places to keep device-free, so the family can focus on properly winding down for bedtime or staying engaged with one another during dinner instead.

As a family, also decide on what times should be screen-free, like mealtimes or after 8pm. Encourage everyone to hold each other accountable to following these zones and times - including you!

Day 7. Lead by example 🧘‍♂️

After setting the rules, try to follow them with your kids for a full day (and hopefully for most days afterwards). We know that it’s not always going to be possible to do that, but consider the little ways in which you can model better behavior for your kids by prioritizing them and your co-parent over your devices.

For example, if someone asks you a question while you’re writing a text, email, or scrolling on social media, put your phone down and respond to them with your full attention, instead of trying to multitask.

Day 8. Create an overnight charging station 😴

You might meet some resistance for this, but do your best to keep devices out of your kids’ bedroom. Research shows that keeping devices where your kids sleep results in them having an 88% higher risk of not sleeping enough.

You can help avoid this by setting up a designated overnight charging station away from bedrooms, where everyone can leave their devices for the night.

When setting this rule, explain but be neutral, going back to the evidence we learned about before and why this is important - “it’s my job as a parent to keep you safe and healthy.”

Day 9. Remove at least 3 apps that do not spark joy 🗑️

What were the apps that you realized don’t make you feel good back on Day 2? Many apps are a mixed bag of feelings, but particularly addictive apps often result in feeling unproductive, anxious, or sad - like news apps, social media, or gaming apps.

Go back to what you felt you were getting out of these apps, and what your kids are getting out of these apps. Is the fun of the game they’re playing ultimately meaningful or productive? If not, it’s time to consider doing away with it.

You can even make a point to do this together as a family at dinner.

Day 10. Sign a family tech agreement 🖋️

Over the course of these 9 days, you’ll learn a lot about your family’s screen habits; keep in mind that as the days go on you and your family might need to revisit some of the rules that you set out at first, but by the end of it, you’ve hopefully aligned on how you want to use devices as a family and feel less stuck to your phones.

Then it’s time to come together and sign a family tech agreement to keep each other accountable! We have a template all ready for you and your family to use right here.