How to boost your kid’s confidence
By Mercedes Oromendia, our Chief Clinical Officer
With school back in session, you may begin to notice that your kid is not as confident about their ability to do certain things. When kids are around their peers, it's so easy to start to compare themselves to others. They may start to say things like "I'm so stupid" when doing challenging homework or "why aren't I as popular?" when not invited to a birthday party.
Our first instinct as a parent may be to console them and tell them that they are not stupid or perfect just the way they are. But, it’s not always helpful to immediately launch into making them feel better. Instead, it's important that we:
Validate their perception. Maybe, they aren’t the best at math and they’ve realized that after their peers scored higher on the last math test. They’ve noticed it, so we shouldn’t breeze past it.
Validate their feelings. It sucks to realize that some people are just naturally better soccer players than you are. It’s okay to acknowledge that that is not a fun feeling.
Encourage them to keep sharing. The more you talk about something you lack confidence in, the more comfortable you get with your abilities or failure.
What is confidence?
Confidence isn’t feeling the best at everything. Confidence is feeling like it’s okay to be you even when you’re not the “best” at something. Having confidence is important to a child’s future happiness, health, and success. Confident children could better handle peer pressure, responsibility, frustrations, challenges, and both positive and negative emotions.
5 ways to boost your kid's confidence 🚀
Building your kid's confidence doesn't have to be a daunting task, it can even be fun!
💬 Positive self-talk. Both children and adults often engage in negative and damaging self-talk: “I can’t do this,” or, “I’m terrible at __________.” Model and teach your kids positive self-talk by adding daily affirmations to the morning or night routine.
🏁 Set and achieve goals. Setting and achieving challenging, yet realistic goals can help kids feel like they are capable. Help your children set and stick to specific goals by using the SMART goals method.
🛏️ Give age-appropriate tasks around the house. When kids do chores, they feel that they are contributing to the household, which gives them a sense of accomplishment and confidence. Give your child age-appropriate responsibilities like making the bed, feeding the dog, setting the table, or picking up toys.
✨ Encourage them to try new things. Kids who lack confidence often shy away from trying new things or doing something challenging. Encourage your kids to branch out, try new activities, and develop new skills. This gives kids the confidence that they can tackle anything that comes their way. You could even try something new together, like pottery!
👩👧 Spend quality time together. Love and acceptance play a huge part in confidence and self-esteem. Parents, spending quality, one-on-one time with our kids reminds them that they are unconditionally loved. Go on special outings, play games, go outside, or do anything that allows you and your child to enjoy time together.