The holiday season brings to mind images of joy, togetherness, and celebration. However, for many families, it also brings challenges like disrupted routines, high expectations, and amplified family dynamics, and can ultimately lead to parents feeling burnt out by the end of the year - not a great way to start the new year!

In our recent Parent Playbook: Thriving Through the Holidays webinar, Tara Krieger, our Child Development Specialist and Program Manager at Manatee, shared valuable strategies for navigating these complexities.

Catch the full recording below and keep scrolling for our recap!

Understanding Holiday Stress for Kids and Parents

“The holiday seasons can be magical,” Tara began, “but let’s face it, they can also leave parents feeling stretched thin and kids stressed out.” Many parents notice increased stress in their children during the holidays. This stress often stems from:

Disrupted routines: Predictability provides children with security, so sudden changes can lead to defiance or emotional outbursts.
Overstimulation: Bright lights, loud voices, and large gatherings can overwhelm kids, manifesting as tantrums, withdrawal, or hyperactivity.
Performance pressure: Expecting children to behave perfectly or engage with unfamiliar relatives may cause anxiety and self-critical behaviors.

Tara emphasized the importance of setting clear expectations and maintaining consistent routines where possible. For example, preserving morning and bedtime routines can anchor a child’s day and reinforce a sense of stability.

Tara offered actionable tips for helping manage kids’ stress during the busy holidays:

Front-loading expectations: Prepare children for changes in advance. For instance, saying, “First, we’ll have dinner, then open presents,” can reduce uncertainty.
Holiday kits: Equip your child with familiar and engaging activities like coloring books, puzzles, or favorite toys to help them manage downtime or overstimulation.
Self-regulation tools: Teach breathing exercises like “balloon breathing” or “five-finger breathing” to help children calm themselves. Creating a cozy corner—a quiet space with sensory items—can also offer a retreat from overwhelming environments.

🎁 Our holiday toolkit includes a Troubleshooting Guide for navigating chaos with kids.

Navigating Family Dynamics

Holidays often amplify family interactions, both positive and challenging. Tara outlined reasons for this:

Old patterns resurfacing: Family gatherings may revive childhood dynamics or resurface tensions that have been left unresolved for a long time, leading to conflicts or uncomfortable situations.
Differing expectations: Balancing the needs of multiple family members can cause tension.
Stress and fatigue: Busy schedules and high expectations can leave everyone more irritable.

Tara’s advice for managing these dynamics included:

Mindfulness: “Pause, take a deep breath, and focus on the present moment,” she advised. This practice can reduce emotional intensity during conflicts.
Setting boundaries: Use “I” statements to assert needs respectfully, such as, “I feel uncomfortable discussing this. Let’s talk about something else.”
Focusing on connection: Prioritize meaningful interactions over perfection by engaging in shared activities like cooking or board games.

Tara also offered encouragement and suggestions for families who may conversely be struggling with having a smaller family and experience sadness around this, or families with blended dynamics:

Creating unique traditions: Personalize the holidays to reflect your family’s values and preferences.
Acknowledging emotions: Validate feelings of sadness or loss while focusing on the strengths of your family dynamic.
Building new memories: Activities like volunteering, crafting, or baking can strengthen bonds and create lasting memories.

🎁 Our holiday toolkit includes an idea list for family rituals with your family.

For parents facing conflicts surrounding custody or divorce during the holiday season, Tara offers this advice:

“I suggest prioritizing your child's wellbeing. Remember to really focus on them as being the center for what decisions you're making as a parent, and the actions you're taking around what's best for the child, rather than focusing on the conflict. Avoid, of course, that negative self-talk, and negatively speaking about the other parent or the other caregiver to protect that child's wellbeing, as well as creating stability. Ensure that holiday plans are as clear as possible, predictable, and communicate to the child to reduce anxiety or confusion about what's happening. Secondly, I also recommend developing a flexible co-parent plan when possible… If we're able to collaborate, it is so helpful. “

🎁 Our holiday toolkit includes a Troubleshooting Guide for navigating family drama, as well as a handout that accompanies Tara’s discussions and suggestions for navigating family dynamics.

Prioritizing Parental Self-Care

“Caring for myself is not self-indulgent,” Tara quoted Audre Lorde. “It is an act of survival.” She highlighted that self-care is essential for reducing stress, modeling healthy habits for children, and enhancing family connections.

Her practical tips included:

Setting realistic expectations: Focus on what truly matters. “Instead of cooking every dish from scratch, choose one or two favorites and simplify the rest,” she suggested.
Mindfulness techniques: Simple practices like deep breathing or grounding exercises can help parents stay centered.
Asking for help: Share responsibilities with your support network to lighten the load and foster teamwork.

Final Thoughts

The holidays, while joyful, can also be complex. Tara’s webinar offered practical tools and a compassionate reminder to prioritize connection over perfection. “By focusing on meaningful moments,” she concluded, “you can create a season filled with joy and resilience.”