12 Tips to Set Your Family Up for Homeschool Success
When we launched our new “No B.S. Guide to Parenting” webinar series and called for topics, we heard you: homeschooling is a mess.
As if juggling work and parenting wasn’t already enough, the COVID-19 pandemic forced the title of “teacher” upon many of us, and left us feeling unsure if we’re helping or hurting our kids’ success.
Manatee’s latest webinar (watch it in full here!) featured three education, social emotional learning, and technology experts, who covered designing positive homeschool experiences and creating the conditions necessary for your family to thrive.
Check out the 12 essential tips to implement in your at-home classroom!
Webinar Recap
Like many of us, Regina Rosi Mitchell, Director of Entrepreneurship and Innovation at Marlborough School and mother of two, describes herself as a “control enthusiast” when saying,
“The pandemic has been especially hard due to the huge, life-changing decisions [we] have very little control over.”
However, her optimistic self was ready to show homeschooling who’s boss.
During the first few weeks of lockdown, Rosi Mitchell and her husband were on it. They developed detailed daily schedules and facilitated essential oil chemistry lessons, communication skills-building workshops, and slime making activities. They checked assignments, ensuring every digital “i” was dotted and “t” was crossed. But then reality sunk in that this might not be the short-lived experience we all thought (dare we say hoped) it would be—and the rhythm they’d created was unsustainable.
To regain control over the homeschooling chapter of her family’s life and “create an experience [they] could look back on with fondness”, she tapped into the way she designs high-quality, engaging learning experiences for her own students and found sustainable success.
#1 Think like a designer
Parents are inherently designers–you create and execute plans for products and structures multiple times a day, every day. So if we think of homeschooling as a new product (and let’s be honest, the system of education has been ripe for innovation for decades), we give ourselves the freedom to be creative with how we design and execute it.
When embracing your inner designer, Rosi Mitchell recommends you ask yourself the following design-thinking questions:
What is…the #1 most important thing I want to accomplish?
What if…I let homeschooling be easy?
Wows: What do I want to keep doing when my kids return to campus?
Works: What do I enjoy doing that is feasible and sustainable in the long-term?
#2 Prototype & reflect
Document your answers in a progress journal in order to keep track of what wows, what works, and what doesn’t and keep going until you find what best suits your kids and family. Remember that every day presents a new opportunity to try something new.
What works for your niece or the neighbor’s kid may or may not not work for yours, and that’s okay. As long as kids are reaching the learning targets set forth by their teachers, any path that gets them there (and keeps you sane) works!
#3 Embrace the messiness
Rosi Mitchell can’t stress the importance of this mantra enough. “Trust your intuition, try small adjustments each day, and remember: you are the expert on your own home.”
“Regardless of whether your kids are ‘on track’ with their remote assignments, they are undoubtedly learning things like adaptability, flexibility, and resilience which are equally valuable life skills to be ready for the future.”
Behavior strategist and social emotional learning specialist, Anam Zaidi echoed the importance of exemplifying these skills (as parents) and developing them (as kids); however, she cautioned parents to focus on the present child rather than the future-adult.
#4 Try to be a “gardener parent”
As parents, Zaidi says we often run on “hedonistic treadmills.” We try to achieve, and we strive for our children to achieve. We tend to be the “carpenter parent,”someone who has a blueprint of what they want their child to become and a mental manual for how to “construct” them properly. This is not helpful in times of uncertainty. Instead, a “gardener parent” is able to nurture and provide the ingredients that allow the child to grow into whatever he or she may become.
“Gardener” parenting involves creating the conditions necessary for kids to thrive in uncertain circumstances–conditions like: safety, regulation, belonging, and authentic positivity–all crucial ingredients for promoting a child’s engagement with his or her homeschool experience and also their overall mental health and well-being.
These can be challenging conditions to create if we don’t:
#5 Acknowledge this period of time for what it is
Zaidi gave us all the feels when she said the popular “new normal” term we’ve all heard lately doesn’t do justice to the fact that what we’re going through right now isn’t actually normal at all. Instead, she aptly coined this chapter of life The Odd Pause–
“Odd because it’s very stressful, it’s full of anxiety, it’s nerve-wracking, and we feel the one thing we don’t like feeling as parents: helpless. Pause because amongst all of this, it still gives us a slight pause to focus on things that are meaningful, things that matter, and quality time with family.”
Once we give ourselves the freedom to sit with its oddness and find silver-linings in the pause, we are able to: cultivate emotionally safe, judgement-free spaces in our homes, help our kids de-stress which further equips them to connect with us and with others, and role model honesty and vulnerability.
#6 Accept your mistakes and limitations
Similar to Regina Rosi Mitchell’s mantra of embracing messiness, Zaidi recommends parents set the example of authentic positivity by acknowledging their mistakes and limitations, particularly when it comes to the scope of their expertise (or lack thereof) with homeschooling.
“Be real with your kids,” Zaidi advises, “Sit with [them] and say ‘Hey, I’m feeling really positive about these aspects, but I’m really nervous about these aspects.’”
It is okay not to have all the answers, and it is okay not to have the right answers. Doing so sets a precedent that all family members can be fallible human beings that still belong.
One way to mitigate mistakes, though, is to:
#7 Set expectations based on energy levels
Zaidi called attention to how we often overestimate our energy–and that of our kids–to complete complex tasks or to-do list items. For example, when monitoring our kids’ homework progress, we might adopt a managerial role and give directives like “you must complete these three tasks by tomorrow” or “read this chapter tonight.” But she cautions that “when it becomes about quantity [over quality] it becomes about disengagement for the child.”
To thrive in homeschool and keep your kids engaged, take inventory of their and your mental energy levels, and let those be the factors determining what can be accomplished in a day’s time.
While the to-do lists for school, work, and life may be overflowing, always,
#8 Ensure kids know they belong
It’s important to remember that kids’ lives have been turned upside down, too. They miss their (real) teachers, their friends, their routines, their activities. Zaidi reminds us that now is a great time to:
“Teach children that strong, deep relationships and friendships can last without having a physical being in front of you. Finding ways to connect with and appreciate your friends when they are not around you…Even if your relationship is not one where you are physically [together] does not mean that relationship is any lesser.”
Kids want to feel socially connected to their peers, and they also want to feel socially connected to you. Many children know their parents exclusively as “mom” or “dad” and are now seeing them as “employee” working-from-home for the first time. This can raise questions in their minds about where they fit into the mix of their parents’ lives.
And they’re not the only ones who need to know they’re your priority.
Shimira Williams, Founder of C.C. Busy and Owner/Operator of TEKStart, encourages parents to “think about how you can help your employer understand that you are still a parent and, right now, taking care of your family is your key priority.”
#9 Communicate needs with employer, Colleagues
Try framing it as “these are the hours I can be best for you” and remember that employers know the childcare deficit is a national problem right now.
Williams also recommends open communication with colleagues about how and when you can be reached during the work/school day and shared several suggestions for how you can dovetail working with parenting:
While it’d be great if we could have kids playing in the background of all conference calls no problem, there are realistically several circumstances for which this might not be ideal. When that’s the case, Williams recommends you:
#10 Utilize your networks
Set kids up on Zoom calls with friends or family members who can remotely teach the child a new topic or skill (i.e. a genre of dance or jewelry making)
Help kids brainstorm a list of questions for a family or community member and conducting video interviews to to learn about family history, a topic of their interest, or a desired career path.
For the times a friend or family member isn’t available to step in, try setting your kids up with a “Listening Lab” by playing an audiobook or podcast while you’re on a conference call. And try not to put pressure on yourself to invent the next great activity.
#11 Don’t reinvent the wheel
There are so many ready-to-go resources to consult for fun lessons and enrichment activity inspiration. Some of our panelists’ favorites are:
Ungame, a non-competitive game that encourages positive communication.
10 Questions for Kids to Ask Grandparents. Kids need practice in learning how to talk on the phone or Zoom. Help them create an “interview guide” and identify questions they want to ask.
Stanford d. school, the go-to place for design-thinking and learning how to build a well-lived, joyful life.
Camp Galileo Blog, a resource for easy(ish) at-home activities.
Venture Lab, great resources for teaching your kids entrepreneurial thinking.
These Scissors, perfect for designing with cardboard!
Hoopla Digital - a digital media service offered by public libraries to stream audiobooks, podcasts, and more!
Last but certainly not least, for both parents and kids alike:
#12 Press pause to play
Williams reminds us that,
“Play makes you more productive”
It enables everyone to unwind.
Perhaps one of the silver-linings of homeschool has been that its given us unprecedented opportunity to pause and play throughout the work day.
Whatever your silver-linings might be, we hope these twelve tips help set your family up for success while homeschooling.
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